Guest Post: Dealbreakers

As I’ve mentioned before, this summer has been all work and no play for me. So I pleaded with my friends and readers for anyone who actually has the time to date to please share their stories. Amazingly, some fantastic writers answered the call!

So, dear readers, I give you the tale of D., who decided to share her thoughts on modern day dealbreakers here in LA, in her own words…

Every now and then, it’s good to change things up so….I’m honored to be A’s first guest blogger (otherwise known as “D”, the also single and fun sidekick and partner-in-crime that makes a cameo on this blog from time to time). I have had the wonderful pleasure of listening and sometimes even experiencing first hand some of A’s dating experiences as said sidekick.  I, on the other hand, have been hesitant to join the world of online dating for several irrational reasons which I won’t bore you with but the main reason being I’m clinging onto the hope that I’ll meet my prince charming the old-fashioned way – preferably through a friend, face to face, with witty banter and a drink in hand.

Well – this actually happened to me about a month ago. It always happens when you least expect it, right? A invited me to accompany her to a friend’s going-away party, at a bar that was east of the 405 (shocker). We decided to leave the Westside bubble and give it a try. I met a boy who was also there for the party, who I thought was cute. We chatted and exchanged witty banter, had a few drinks,  and at the end of the night he asked for my number.

Fast forward several weeks later and we had our first date at Harvard + Stone. It was a drinks date that I really didn’t expect to last longer than a few hours but we managed to have natural flowing conversation for a good 5 hours. During which, we asked the usual first date questions (“Where are you from?”, “How long have you lived in LA?”, “What are your favorite bars?”) and the subject of drinking and driving in LA came up. I had driven to Harvard + Stone and he made a comment on how I seemed to be “handling my alcohol well” (about 3 drinks in). Which I was. So I decided to share my story about getting pulled over at a DUI checkpoint a year ago and having it scare the crap out of me (I passed all of the tests of course) so I wouldn’t ever drink and drive. Ever. He then proceeded to share that he did, in fact, get pulled over for a DUI. The story went something like he was on medication, he also had a few drinks, it made for a bad combination, and then he crashed into some barricade. Or something along those lines. No one was hurt luckily, except for his bank account and probably his ego.

At this point I’m thinking to myself – is this a red flag? Is this going to be the deal-breaker? Living in LA all of my life, I know that drinking and driving is a prevalent problem and while I’m not proud to admit this, I’ve certainly had my fair share of maybe 1 too many drinks and getting in the car.  Everyone is susceptible of getting a DUI, right?

Well, I decided to curb those negative thoughts for the time being and wasn’t faced with it again until this past Thursday night, when we went on our 3rd date. He offered to pick me up from my place – we went to the movies and all was going swell. (On a sidenote, I would highly recommend “The Way Way Back” as a great date movie – very funny and touching.) We got back into the car to head home when he turned on his engine, and then the beeping started. He had to blow into the breathalizer in order for the car to start. On the way home, he had to blow into it for a 2nd time (not sure why because the car was still running). Insert hand to forehead, SMH.

Was this the real red flag? Am I dating someone who is not responsible, who spent a night in jail, and who could possibly do this again? In my mind, all signs point to NO, he seems to have realized it was a colossal mistake and insists he will never even think about having a drink and getting into the car again.  Which I do believe. Maybe I have the first date blinders on, maybe I just don’t know him well enough yet, or maybe I just don’t want to admit it, but I’d like to think that this red flag is not a deal-breaker… we all have made mistakes in the past that we’re not proud of, so the best you can do is learn from it and move on. On the up side, he only has one more month of the breathalizer, so until then, I’d prefer to avoid having him drive again… so we’ll be walking, taxi-ing, Uber-ing, or I’ll be the chauffeur. D, the DD… that has a nice ring to it.

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