In the summer of 2017, I went on a few dates and slept with a French Guy who lived in the East Village. Unwittingly and stupidly, I caught feelings.
After date #3, I started to suspect that the French Guy wasn’t into it anymore. While we texted for a few days after, he did not ask me on another date. On a Friday night, I suggested meeting up and his response was that he was out with a coworker who liked to party and he would have a late night. Having finally gotten the hint, I deleted his number from my phone, wrote him off as another New York slash French idiot, and went on my merry way.
That Saturday night, I went out drinking with friends in Battery Park and was enjoying the New Jersey sunset across the Hudson when my iPhone chirped with an unknown number text. The French Guy sent a rambling text about how he is looking for a long term relationship, does not want to see me anymore, and he should have never let things get this far. Way to take the knife and just twist it, French Guy.
So I am just the girl that no one sees a long term relationship future with. Cool.
We had a great time over the last 8 years. You survived 3 cities, 5 jobs, and 6 apartments. It seems fitting that you lost your lens on either a vineyard ground or the floor of a Long Island party bus. Thanks for the memories.
— Sent from my iPhone. Excuse the typos or drunk texts.
Dating in New York is better than dating in Los Angeles.
A bold statement but one I stand by.
The men in New York are more ambitious, communicative, honest, and generous. They know what they want in life, including a career path and what sort of relationship they want with a girl. You just can’t be a slacker in New York. It’s financially impossible.
One such go-getter was Mr. I Have a Walk-In Closet. He also works in ad technology so we had a lot in common when we met for our first Bumble date. He humbly bragged about the new Upper West Side condo he had just bought and renovated. He whipped out his phone and gave me the virtual tour of the 2BR complete with crown moldings. He ended the tour with an Instagram of the large and empty walk-in closet which he proudly announced could fit a baby.
We didn’t work out.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I found employment. In New York City.
To say that I have mixed feelings about leaving LA is an understatement. After I decided to take the offer, I cried at least 3 times a day and didn’t sleep for a week. And then I had to pick myself up the ground and downsize my walk-in closet wardrobe (perhaps the most tear-inducing part).
Believe me — I know that I am leaving one terrible dating scene for an arguably worse one. But I didn’t take this job to find Prince Charming in the dungeon kingdom that is New York City. I took this job because it was a great career opportunity and it seemed like the right time to take a chance and go on a new adventure.
This new adventure will end the chapter known as LAMatchbook. But hey – you never know – maybe I’ll find inspiration and create NYMatchbook. Lord knows there are plenty of douchebags in NYC; they are just dressed better.
Thank you all for your support. It has been such a fun journey to share my LA dating fiascos with all of you.
This is not Good-Bye. I’ll see you in the Next Life.
In recent years, I have encountered a phenomenon that I did not know existed when I was in my early 20s. There is a whole melee of 30something men in the online dating sphere that just want to get married. And if you are an attractive, not-crazy woman, they will decide they want to marry you after 1 date. It’s a very jarring concept.
I went on 3 dates with one of these anomalies back in January. I thought there was chemistry on Date 1, but by Date 3, I knew I wasn’t feeling it. He however seemed to be head over heels. He texted constantly, wanted to hold my hand in the movies (this ruined American Hustle for me), and made plans and followed through on them. On paper, this guy was marriage-material. He had a goddamn golden retriever. Except I didn’t even want to kiss him.
He wasn’t the first 30something I encountered like this. Mr. Vegetarian from last Spring had the same marriage mindset (well in his head; he needed to move out of his parents’ attic before he actually got hitched). Some of my girlfriends have said they’ve encountered this same phenomenon: the guy wasn’t attracted to her; he was attracted to the idea of marrying anyone.
Losing my job wound up being the silver lining to ditch Mr. Good on Paper/Golden Retriever Owner. I had the perfect excuse to say I had to re-prioritize and dating could no longer be a priority in life. He of course wrote me the nicest text ever back. If this guy sounds perfect to you and you’re on the marriage track, let me know. I’ll hook you guys up.
As for me, I’m on the job-finding track. Marriage-minded (or not) dudes will just have to wait.