Category Archives: random

Did You Miss Me?

I’ve missed me. At least 2017 has gotten off to a better start than I anticipated. We’re not going through the nuclear apocalypse…yet.

Things are pretty status quo here in NYC. I spent the majority of my winter hiding from snow storms and escaping to Miami, San Diego (x2), and Los Angeles. But as we all know, first comes cuffing season, then comes hibernation, and now finally…Spring Has Sprung!

It only took 4 years  but I am finally in a job that has calmed the fuck down enough for me to think again to write. I look forward to conversing here more!

My Year in Review

We all know – it was a horrible, absolutely no good year. You can guess my political affiliation based on the 2 coasts I’ve lived in the last decade. I spent more than half of 2016 living on unemployment and the other half not dating. My 2016 in review consisted of:

  • 1 fantastic booze & jazz-filled trip to New Orleans (my first time – highly recommend!) 
  • 2 bad sexual encounters. At least 1 guy paid for my Uber home.
  • 1 subway stair-related ankle injury, sidelining me from my beloved kickball team for a month and the treadmill for 3 months.
  • 2 amazing weddings that were worth the plane rides, hikes, jet lag, and rental cars. I sort of believe in finding love after those. Sort of.
  • 0 job offers for 5 months until it came down to 2 job offers in the same week and I had 36 meltdowns trying to make a decision.
  • 7 eye doctor visits due to an eye issue, all paid for by Obamacare 🙌
  • 1 new therapist who has me chasing down why I’m so lonely (to be continued…).
  • 1 WORLD SERIES VICTORY.

Instead of ending on a sour note, I want to look to the positive. I am going to let the wise infographic of Purewow speak to the highlights of this grim year:

2016_best_things_infographic

 

(Image: Purewow)

Finally, BRING IT 2017.

Oops I Did It Again

Once upon a time, a single drifter lived, worked, and dated in Los Angeles. It was full of Palm trees and Peter Pans. She chronicled her experiences in a dating blog named LAMatchbook. Over the course of her late 20s, she dated a plethora of douchebags, losers, boring guys, and some nice ones in there too. Then, she lost her job in LA on the eve of 30.

Bored, lost, and uninspired, she set her sights to go somewhere grander, costlier, and inevitably colder. Direction-less and man-less, she decided to go test her resolve in the place where all dreams go to die: New York City. Job offer in hand, she arrived in the Big Apple and immediately started working 10+ hour days. She dated when she had time, which was pretty much never. She joined the ranks of the other sleep-deprived New Yorkers and complained about her insane upstairs neighbors. She broke a lease, worked more hours, learned how to navigate Penn Station, yelled at ConEd when they jackhammered at midnight, and started seeing a therapist (Xanax prescription not included).

This is not a story of a princess who moved to a big city and found Prince Charming. This is the real story of a girl who took a chance, got robbed by Uber, stepped in vomit and on a rat, lost some hair and parts of her memory, and somehow keeps persevering through Manhattan. They say you’re not a New Yorker until you’ve cried on the subway in front of everyone and don’t care. I accomplished that by Month #3. Then the technology industry betrayed me again and I lost the job that drove me 3,000 miles across the country. And so less than 2 years after I left America’s 2nd most expensive city, I found myself unemployed in America’s #1 most expensive city.

I know that this used to be a blog about dating, but perhaps in my 30s I’ve learned the karmic lesson about not airing your dating dirty laundry. Or I’ve run out of material because it has become noticeable that men swipe left for women who are over 31. So we’re going to start a new conversation. Here’s a blog for the wanderers, for the clueless, for the childless those of us in our 30s who are wondering why we’re at our desks again at 9 PM on a Wednesday.

I don’t have much time to write; I have to keep the bonuses coming in to afford my 470 square foot downtown studio after all. But I invite you to read about my New York adventures and for those of you with the time and means to date, please share your stories! It’s a big, bad, hard world and we’re all just trying to navigate our ways through it.
Many cheers!

A.

 

 

 

 

30 Before 30.

The sad reality is that I turn 30 in a few days.

I never really had a vision for myself at 30, much less at 40 or 50 or 90. I just wanted to be healthy, happy, and employed in a challenging job. Thus far, I have succeeded at 1 out of 3.

A good friend of mine turned 30 one month before I do and I was really impressed by a list she made in her late 20s, which catalogued 30 things to achieve before 30. Around age 28, I thought that I should write one for myself. But somehow I never got around to it, which is probably very indicative of my very nature.

Recently, upon the harsh realization that I could no longer deny that 30 is almost here, I catalogued what it was that I did get around to in my 20s. It turns out that I did okay. And you know what, okay is good enough for now. Here goes:

  1. Eat a meal alone. I actually now love walking to a bar in a restaurant, ordering a glass of wine, and enjoying a meal on my own. I have business travel and unemployment to thank for this. And guess what — you meet a lot of interesting people this way.
  2. Go to the movies alone. Again, unemployment really got me out of my shell for going to the movies alone. How else was I supposed to spend a hot Tuesday spring afternoon in LA?
  3. Fix a clogged toilet. I lived with my parents for 3 years in my mid-twenties (hey, it was the recession…) and the house’s plumbing was out of the 1930s. So I had to constantly call my dad for advice on how to plunge the toilet. At age 29, alone in said house on a getaway weekend, the toilet clogged. And for the first time ever, I fixed it by myself. It was the most triumphant Friday  night I had in years.
  4. Learn what you want to do in a job and what you don’t want to do in a job. Want to know why I’m still unemployed? Because I said no to 3 jobs I knew were going to make me miserable all over again. It’s fiscally stupid but morally responsible to all parties involved.
  5. Love.
  6. Learn to take criticism.
  7. Save money. The only reason I’m surviving on California’s unemployment payments is because I saved so much in my 20s. I have a family who welcomed me in to save on rent which I recognize is a unique situation but there are still little ways to save money. I religiously read resources like Learnvest and The Muse which have great tips.
  8. Try and fail. I tried and I failed at many, many things. And I’m stronger for it.
  9. Smiling despite all odds. Trying doing it during your darkest hours — it really helps.
  10. Travel the world.
  11. Learn how to cook basic meals. I have unemployment to thank for turning me into a banana bread-baking Martha Stewart. My waistline is not as thankful.
  12. Just say yes.
  13. I know the difference between a Phillips screwdriver and a slot screwdriver. Do you?
  14. Have hope.
  15. Find good people. Surround yourself with them. LA is full of phonies but even I found the few gems in the rough.
  16. Kill bugs in your house. I actually got over this phobia at age 8 going to camp in Wisconsin but it’s an important thing to learn to deal with, ladies.
  17. Recognize that you’re only 30. The sky is the limit.

I certainly didn’t make it to 30 accomplishments but I can’t help but thank Carrie Bradshaw with leaving some very wise words that speak to all generations: “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.” I have a feeling that I’m only skimming the surface of that relationship.

Cheers,

A.