Tag Archives: wine

Mr. High Maintenance.

There are some girls in Los Angeles who love to be spoiled, appreciate expensive cars, and name-dropping. I am not one of those girls. Give me a night of cheap Chinese food, BYOB wine, and we can even take the bus and I’m a happy camper. (True story – one of my best dates ever was at Mao’s Kitchen in Venice and we walked there with a bottle of wine).

For those aforementioned LA girls, I found the perfect man for you: Mr. High Maintenance.

I met Mr. High Maintenance at The Wilshire Bar and Restaurant, a place I frequent as little as possible because I hate the female and male douchebags it attracts every Friday and Saturday night and at age 28, I refuse to pay cover. He was nice enough, bought me a vodka-soda, worked in something vague called “private equity/real estate”, and asked for my number. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I agreed to a date with him.

To his credit, Mr. High Maintenance was very good at making plans, which is a skill that a lot of LA men lack. He wanted to pick me up and drive me to 41Ocean (a chi-chi, members-only club in Santa Monica that you pay $2000/year for the privilege of sitting at a bar and drinking $15 drinks which you still pay $15 each for), but I don’t trust any man with my address on a first date, so we met at a bar in Brentwood first. I wound up having more fun than anticipated but was still unsure how much I liked him given that he said such sentences as “I don’t get hangovers because I drink an entire bottle of Pellegrino with my multivitamins before I go to sleep after drinking” and “I don’t drink beer at the pool; I prefer Sauvignon Blanc”.

For our 2nd date, Mr. High Maintenance wanted to “surprise me” which I thought was creepy but my friends said was actually romantic. But hey, at least he’s good at making plans. He picked me up in his 2-door BMW, which he said he was tired of after 3 years and wanted a new one. I in turn launched into the story of my 1997 Honda Accord that I drove despite it leaking when it rained but I jimmied a paper towel/duct tape solution and it never rains in LA anyways.

We went to Tavern for late drinks and appetizers but had to order fish appetizers that adhered to his diet. He avoided carbs all week but allowed himself one splurge day per week; apparently this Monday was not splurge day. Dating Mr. Vegetarian had been annoying enough but at least that guy appreciated a good piece of margherita pizza. The night went fine enough but after he tried to talk me into going to his place for a drink and “the view”, I decided I had had enough. I bid farewell to Mr. High Maintenance and tried to ignore all his subsequent text messages. However he simply didn’t get the message (and he was also just aggressive by nature), ¬†so I had to finally send off a bitchy text saying I didn’t want to see him anymore.

I’m not at all concerned¬†about Mr. High Maintenance because I have every belief that he is going to meet Miss High Maintenance one day soon and they’ll be quite content sipping Sauvignon Blanc and Pellegrino together poolside in no time.

Mr. Wine-No

Not too long ago, I found myself on a second date with Short Mark*. I’m allowed to actually call him Short Mark because he lied about his height. He said 5’9 on his online profile but I quickly realized on our first date he couldn’t possibly stand taller than 5’6. However, I have been trying to be more open-minded about short guys, so I chose to ignore this rather irrational lie on his part (you can’t fake height so why would you lie about it online??) and agreed to a 2nd date with him.

We went to a Brentwood Italian restaurant I had never been to before and that meal was the best part of the whole evening. He admitted to being more of a beer drinker than a wine drinker and asked if I had any wine recommendations (no judgments here; I love giving wine advice!). I said, “Since we are in an Italian restaurant, I think Chianti would be a good bet. Red wine always go well with this sort of meal and Chianti is one of the best values.” Mind you, of course I pronounced Chianti as “key-ant-ee”, as any wine lover or anyone who’s ever watched Silence of the Lambs should know to do.

The waiter asked to take our drinks order and this short dude apparently felt he was ordering for the two of us. Short Mark said, “We’ll each have a glass of the Chee-ant-ee.” I wanted to hit him across the face. The waiter grimaced and politely walked away without correcting him. It wasn’t the fact that Short Mark didn’t know how to pronounce a relatively well-known red wine. It was the fact that he clearly wasn’t listening to what I was saying as that I’m pretty sure I said the word Chianti (correctly) at least 4 times.

Needless to say, the night took a turn for the worst at that point and I haven’t seen Short Mark since.

Back in the Saddle.

I actually haven’t been on an online dating site in months but I also haven’t been on a date in well…too long and I’m bored this fall. So I figured why not give the old eHarmony a try again.

Turns out the last time I logged in was January 2010 and my profile still indicated I was A. from San Diego so I had some editing to do. They now have some really fun new questions to answer that are both good for your potential date to know about you and very thought-provoking to ponder on a sleepy autumn Monday evening. Here are just a few snapshots from the evening:

ImageAnyone who knows my love of Lost will understand how vehemently important this question is to me. Really – who would you rather be stuck on a desert island with? Sawyer or Ginger? You know I’m right.

A date who doesn’t drink?? But how are you supposed to make it through a first date without the glass of wine to take the edge off? Alright, you got me eHarmony, one of my most important values include wine.

I guess I’m officially back in the saddle! Wish me luck, friends.