Last Saturday, I was trying to enjoy a lovely Saturday afternoon in the park on my own. (By the way, I really enjoy alone time.)
I was perched at a park bench, reading a magazine, basking in the 72 and perfect sunny day when I heard:
I looked up to see some European man and I smiled politely even though I had no idea who he was.
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed. “I thought you were my friend who I just had lunch! I was thinking, what is she doing here when I just saw her 10 minutes ago?”
“Oh, that’s a funny coincidence,” I said and turned back to my magazine.
“It’s so weird. You look exactly like her!” he said.
“Ok,” I said.
“So, what are you doing here?” he asked.
“Just enjoying the sunny day. Reading in the park,” I answered.
“Ahh. So what do you do in LA? Are you a model? Or an actress?” he asked. At which point, I gave up trying to do polite conversation with him. I replied, “Um no, definitely not. I work in advertising.” And I blatantly dug my nose back in the magazine.
“What sort of advertising? Like in that magazine you’re reading?” he inquired on.
“No,” I said. “Online.” Then I went silent and continued trying to read.
He paused for a moment and then said, “Ok, well do you want to ask any questions about me?”
I put down the magazine, did my best to smile as politely as possible, and said, “No, not really. Honestly, I was just trying to sit here and read and enjoy the day. It’s been really nice talking to you and I hope that you have a good day!” To emphasize my point, I picked the magazine up and continued reading.
“I’m Israeli. Do you want to know anything else?” he prattled on.
“No, honestly, I’ve appreciated talking to you but I’m done talking.”
“Don’t you want to make new friends in LA? I’m pretty new to LA,” he said.
“At this point, no, I do not want to be your friend. It’s been lovely talking to you. Have a nice day,” I said.
“I cannot believe you’re being so disrespectful to me!” he practically yelled. “Especially since you’re Jewish!”
I put down the magazine. “I’m not Jewish!” (FACT)
“Now you’re just lying to me. You’re being a rude and disrespectful liar!” he shouted. I just shrugged and said I wasn’t lying (which is true; I am most definitely not Jewish!). He finally stalked off at that point, muttering about how rude I was and what a liar I was.
I have no words except …WTF.