I had the most awful revelation a few months ago: Mr. Face Twitch and I work at the same company. Thankfully, this is a large enough company with multiple buildings that I ran into him about Month 4 of this new job and I only see him now about once a month. I have politely tried to make eye contact and smile on all occasions but he makes a blatant effort to not acknowledge my presence.
The first time I ran into him in the office hallway, the world’s most awkward date (circa March 2011) came flooding back to me. He HAD mentioned he had just started a new job in IT at a company near the Santa Monica Promenade and that it sounded like the company was in a similar field as my previous 2011 job (online advertising).
Now that I mention it, the guy is in IT and can probably hack my work laptop and find this exact blog post…
Well henceforth, he will be known as Mr. Face Twitch/Awkward Coworker. If you are hacking this Mr. Face Twitch/Awkward Coworker, maybe work on your social skills and I’ll try to be more careful who I blog about 😉
I’m not going to lie, the first few weeks of 2013 sucked. I was probably setting myself up for failure as I rode 2012 out on a high wave. January was one of those months where every small thing that could go wrong did. The Cold Sickness Part II made a nasty reappearance and I’m still not recovered, my HMO screwed me over (not a surprise), I screamed at a dishwasher repairman with an Eastern European accent on the phone and he screamed back (he had the accent, not me), I wasted an entire Saturday waiting on my couch for a delivery that showed up completely wrong but then I yelled at Overstock.com and got my way.
Basically, the last 6 weeks have been a nonstop cycle of anger and screaming and coughing. I’ve decided that the only way to break the cycle is to at least smack a fake smile on my face and try to focus on positive things. Because according to my “glass is half-full” friends, if you keep focusing on the negative, you’ll never break out of the cycle. Or some sh*t like that.
In case you haven’t heard (and I really hope you haven’t, because this is not a newsmaking event), it’s been cold in LA for like a week. By cold, I mean below 70.
Ok, so it has been like 45 degrees at night but I’m getting really tired of the Los Angelenos who are wearing a thin USC or UCLA (double idiot points for the UCLA) sweatshirt at night and complaining about how freezing it is while they stand there shivering. I’m from Chicago and when it is 45 degrees outside*, you put on a decent jacket, jackass.
So when this Jimmy Kimmel clip popped up in my Facebook newsfeed, it had me rolling on the fl0or. My favorite is the douchebag standing in Long Beach with a ski coat and ski gloves acting like he’s covering Battery Park during Hurricane Sandy.
* The one exception to this rule in Chicago is when it has been 10 degrees for a month straight and one magical, sunny, 45 degree day happens in February. Then you may run around the city in a tank top and shorts because your skin has adapted to have bear-like strength to hold heat.