I don’t know about you guys, but for the last few days, I’ve been plotting my responses for the inevitable question, “So, are you seeing anyone special?” when I return to my hometown of Chicago this week. Here are my favorites:

• “No. What are your thoughts on the 22 year old who works at the Subway by my office that told me he still lives with his parents? Because he asked me out.”
• “No special man, Aunt Maggie. I’ve decided that I will be the family member to continue your spinster legacy.” (Totally kidding! I don’t have an Aunt Maggie. And I would never say that to a spinster Aunt)
• “No, but consider this an open invitation to come visit me in LA in the dead of Chicago winter so you can meet the men of Los Angeles. You will quickly understand why I am still single.”
• “Yes, I have met someone! His name is Winston. He is unbelievably sweet, considerate, always there for me, and he is an orange tabby.” (Lie. I don’t have a cat…yet. But if I ever get one he will be named Winston and he will surely be the love of my life)
• “Nope. Once I saw those Paul Ryan workout pictures, I gave up on the male species and took a vow of celibacy.” (Half kidding…My parents’ conservative friends would sh– a brick if I actually said this to them)
• “No, but I still have hope because men like Ryan Gosling look like this.” (100% truth!)

The best advice I can give for dealing this lovely question during the holiday season? Always have a glass of champagne in hand. Because a glass of bubbly looks better than a stud on your arm any day of the week.

P.S. Here’s a picture of Mr. Gosling if you needed a visual.