Remember when my hero Liz Lemon wrote her successful book, DealBreakers? She helped inspire me to come up with the Top 5 Online Dating dealbreakers:

5) If he’s doing the MySpace pose. He’s holding a camera to the mirror and taking a pic of himself. This is alarming because:

• He looks idiotic.
• He may not have any friends that can take a picture of him.
• He might still be using MySpace.

If you are not sure what I am speaking of, please review the following MySpace mirror shot.

4) Multiple spelling and grammar mistakes. Fine, I’m a bit of a spelling Nazi, but the way I see it – you have this one online dating profile to impress people and you can’t bother to use the free spell check in the Firefox browser? That screams lazy and stupid.

3) Holding a child does not give you brownie points with the ladies; it makes you look like you have kids (a dealbreaker for some ladies, yes), or that you are just that creep who uses cute objects (baby, dog, monkey) to catch the attention of women.

2) If he doesn’t have any photos, it means he’s too lazy to complete his profile and no girl wants a lazy boy. It could also mean he’s hideous. In both cases, I say Dealbreaker.

1) If he starts his profile with any of the following clichés “I thought I’d never try online dating, but LA is so hard to meet people, here I am!”, “I’m looking for a fun girl but no commitments” (okay, appreciate the honesty, but not a good first-liner), or “I’m a fun-loving guy who loves the outdoors, hanging out with friends, and am happy grabbing a drink out or watching a great movie with a glass of wine at home for the night.” Hey Mr. Originality, 99% of people in LA love the outdoors, have friends they generally like to be in the company of, and go to bars but – gasp! – also are content to sit at home with a bottle of wine and “Serendipity”. Dealbreakers all around!