Sleep is the best ever thing to happen to me besides sex. Sex followed by sleep is even better. But these days, I’ll settle for one good night’s sleep.

I can’t legitimately remember the last time I had a good night’s rest. I have been cursed as a light sleeper since childhood. So when I stay in a hotel room (like I did in Chicago for a few days), and someone stomps above my head for hours at a time — I’m up.

These days, my stress level is through the roof, and I regularly dream/have nightmares about Excel formulas. This is not a legitimate nor sane way to live your life.

So I have learned to appreciate those quiet nights where I actually get 8 hours of sound sleep. They are far and few in between, so when they do occur, I am in the best mood possible. For all you new parents out there who get no sleep at all — you are braver people than I will ever be (and also the reason I will probably never have children).