I made out with a guy in San Francisco who I am 99% sure was gay and trying to prove a point to his lover, Igor. No, I don’t make this stuff up.

I made it to 5 dates with a vegetarian who made me share non-carnivorous meals with him and he lived at home above his parents’ garage without a bedroom door. Again, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. He now owns the title of the only man I have made it to 5 dates with in 13 months.

My mother grew so anxious over the state of my singlehood that she literally chased down men in the street of Chicago for me.

A drunk best man rejected me at a wedding.

I considered hiring a Los Angeles actor to bring home to my family for Christmas. I decided that taking a vacation to Thailand was a better investment.

I went on a date with a skinny man who invited me to drinks and then he drank iced tea. I felt awkward and judged for enjoying my glass of Chardonnay.

At the end of 2013, I still have my health, an income, wine, and a pretty awesome group of friends. At the end of the day, that makes for a pretty decent year. And the bar has been set very, very low for you, 2014.

Bring it on.

Cheers,

A.