Enough Said.
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The Bar Has Been Set THIS Low.
I called my mother the other day to say hello as it was 2 PM on a Tuesday and I was job-less and bored. She did not ask me about my day or job search and immediately launched into Future Grandson Watch — Day 263. For 15 minutes, I got to hear the disturbing ins and out of my sister’s Braxton Hicks cramps (no, I do not know how to spell that).
For a split second, the younger child in me got upset that no one was paying attention to me and my latest unemployment drama. Then, it hit me: the pressure is off. A.’s sad single and unemployed state is inconsequential in the bigger game of the future grandson’s arrival. For the next 1-5 years, my mother will not ask me about my latest, saddest dates, why I haven’t met anyone nice, and when she’ll become a grandmother. Instead, all my family cares about is:
1) Grandbaby.
2) If I get a job soon.
3) Which family member has to take me in which I inevitably can’t afford my LA lifestyle any longer.
The bar has been set THIS low. And damn — it feels good.
On to the next adventure in unemployed–
A.
The Break-Up Email.
Recently, a company emailed me saying they were interested in potentially offering me a position. I was definitely floored, as one executive had put me through the ringer in my 2nd interview. I suppose that means I passed some sort of “how much can she tolerate” test.
So I was faced with the difficult task of sitting down and writing a professional summary of “Why I don’t want to continue this relationship.” Let’s just say it was as hard as writing a “I just don’t feel the chemistry” text except my professional reputation was on the line.
And so ends another chapter in the “job hunting is just like dating” AKA “I’ll never get employed/date again” saga of my late 20s.
Don’t Put Your Eggs in 1 Basket.
Welcome to another chapter in my “job hunting is just like dating” series. As desperate as you may be in a job hunt (read: trying to navigate how to live in Los Angeles as a single person on unemployment payments), it is important to apply to as many relevant and interesting jobs as possible — just like you should optimize your dating profile to consider prospects you would otherwise consider to be “outside your bubble.”
You may have a dream job or dream man in mind when you put a search inquiry into Indeed.com or Match.com, but the truth is — you need to play the odds in both your dating and career lives. Expand your pool to parameters you haven’t considered before. Perhaps now is the time to think about making a East Coast move or actually accepting a date in the Valley.
Just because your best friend has recommended you for your dream role or set you up with Prince Charming doesn’t mean you should rely on that dream job or man to be your only option. Keep an open mind and apply to multiple roles and go on several dates with new guys. The minute you stop focusing on that perfect job or guy, you’ll find even more options open to you.
Hence, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. I’m a big fan in juggling a manageable load – men and jobs alike.
Dude Just Wants to Get Married.
In recent years, I have encountered a phenomenon that I did not know existed when I was in my early 20s. There is a whole melee of 30something men in the online dating sphere that just want to get married. And if you are an attractive, not-crazy woman, they will decide they want to marry you after 1 date. It’s a very jarring concept.
I went on 3 dates with one of these anomalies back in January. I thought there was chemistry on Date 1, but by Date 3, I knew I wasn’t feeling it. He however seemed to be head over heels. He texted constantly, wanted to hold my hand in the movies (this ruined American Hustle for me), and made plans and followed through on them. On paper, this guy was marriage-material. He had a goddamn golden retriever. Except I didn’t even want to kiss him.
He wasn’t the first 30something I encountered like this. Mr. Vegetarian from last Spring had the same marriage mindset (well in his head; he needed to move out of his parents’ attic before he actually got hitched). Some of my girlfriends have said they’ve encountered this same phenomenon: the guy wasn’t attracted to her; he was attracted to the idea of marrying anyone.
Losing my job wound up being the silver lining to ditch Mr. Good on Paper/Golden Retriever Owner. I had the perfect excuse to say I had to re-prioritize and dating could no longer be a priority in life. He of course wrote me the nicest text ever back. If this guy sounds perfect to you and you’re on the marriage track, let me know. I’ll hook you guys up.
As for me, I’m on the job-finding track. Marriage-minded (or not) dudes will just have to wait.
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