Because it’s always refreshing to hear what a man thinks of us lovely ladies in LA.
[ my favorite parts: Urkel, we won’t drink on dates because we’re afraid of DUIs]
Category Archives: dating
An Update: Mr. Face Twitch.
I repeat: Los Angeles is a big city, small town.
I had the most awful revelation a few months ago: Mr. Face Twitch and I work at the same company. Thankfully, this is a large enough company with multiple buildings that I ran into him about Month 4 of this new job and I only see him now about once a month. I have politely tried to make eye contact and smile on all occasions but he makes a blatant effort to not acknowledge my presence.
The first time I ran into him in the office hallway, the world’s most awkward date (circa March 2011) came flooding back to me. He HAD mentioned he had just started a new job in IT at a company near the Santa Monica Promenade and that it sounded like the company was in a similar field as my previous 2011 job (online advertising).
Now that I mention it, the guy is in IT and can probably hack my work laptop and find this exact blog post…
Well henceforth, he will be known as Mr. Face Twitch/Awkward Coworker. If you are hacking this Mr. Face Twitch/Awkward Coworker, maybe work on your social skills and I’ll try to be more careful who I blog about 😉
Mr. Wine-No
Not too long ago, I found myself on a second date with Short Mark*. I’m allowed to actually call him Short Mark because he lied about his height. He said 5’9 on his online profile but I quickly realized on our first date he couldn’t possibly stand taller than 5’6. However, I have been trying to be more open-minded about short guys, so I chose to ignore this rather irrational lie on his part (you can’t fake height so why would you lie about it online??) and agreed to a 2nd date with him.
We went to a Brentwood Italian restaurant I had never been to before and that meal was the best part of the whole evening. He admitted to being more of a beer drinker than a wine drinker and asked if I had any wine recommendations (no judgments here; I love giving wine advice!). I said, “Since we are in an Italian restaurant, I think Chianti would be a good bet. Red wine always go well with this sort of meal and Chianti is one of the best values.” Mind you, of course I pronounced Chianti as “key-ant-ee”, as any wine lover or anyone who’s ever watched Silence of the Lambs should know to do.
The waiter asked to take our drinks order and this short dude apparently felt he was ordering for the two of us. Short Mark said, “We’ll each have a glass of the Chee-ant-ee.” I wanted to hit him across the face. The waiter grimaced and politely walked away without correcting him. It wasn’t the fact that Short Mark didn’t know how to pronounce a relatively well-known red wine. It was the fact that he clearly wasn’t listening to what I was saying as that I’m pretty sure I said the word Chianti (correctly) at least 4 times.
Needless to say, the night took a turn for the worst at that point and I haven’t seen Short Mark since.
Mr. Tall Guy.
I hit a milestone at the end of 2012. I actually made it to a 5th date with someone for the first time in 1.5 years.
Mr. Tall Guy was a tall (over 6’0!) sales guy from eHarmony. Something very rare happened our first date. I laughed a lot and actually had butterflies in my stomach. The last time that happened was with Mr. Dog Lover (more on that later) in the summer of 2011.
The first 4 dates consisted of lots of good food, conversation, laughter, and wine. I followed my cardinal rule of not telling my friends I actually sort of liked a guy, because the minute that you do — much like that job you really, really want — it all disappears. But things started to take a turn for weird around the holidays. He stopped initiating conversation and dates. He didn’t wish me a Merry Christmas or Happy New Year’s. I did my best to dismiss this as “People are busy during the holidays” but it’s been my experience that when a guy actually likes you, he’ll make an effort to contact you. I’ve read He’s Just Not That Into You after all.
The last I heard of Mr. Tall Guy was in early January, when he texted me that he really, really wanted to see me but then listed all the reasons he was too busy that weekend to meet up. I decided then and there that I was done trying and if he really, really cared, he’d reach out after his busy weekend.
I should have known better about Mr. Tall Guy; he went to U of Arizona which probably turns out more douchebags than USC and his full name bore way too much of a striking resemblance to my college boyfriend, Ted1 (again, more on that one later).
I’m not sure if this guy fell off the face of the Earth or just decided he would never contact me again for who knows what reason (don’t worry – I know it’s the latter and he didn’t actually disappear into thin air; I’m not delusional), but I don’t look back at the Mr. Tall Guy incident as a bad thing. The good news is that the last time I saw him was technically in 2012, so as they say – out with the old and in with the new! Also, the whole incident was a fresh reminder that it is possible to meet someone online and have chemistry with him. It just may happen every 1.5 years. And once every 1.5 years is sure better than never.
Stop Judging Me, Television.
Recently, I spent my first Saturday night in in…2 months(?). The fact that I can’t give you an exact date should tell you that I have a moderately awesome social life.
So, due to a number of circumstances (horrible, horrible Saturday when everything went awry and I knew if I further subjected myself to humanity, sh– would hit the walls), I elected to do myself (and most everyone else) a favor to stay parked on my couch. Of course by staying in, I mean me plus a bottle of Rioja.
Fun fact: Saturday night is a good time to catch up on Liz Lemon and her many misadventures on your DVR. Then when you’re done, Saturday night TV has great TV like Iron Man and Sex and the City reruns. Horrible fact: media planners (evil little 20somethings in my business) have somehow decided that this is an optimal time to air Match.com commercials to us sad spinsters home on a Saturday night on our sofas.
The worst part of said evening consisted of me pouring myself another glass of wine in the kitchen and returning to a commercial of an image of the world’s saddest sea otter on the TV staring at me. The commercial voiceover went on to explain that “if you suffer from depression, then you should consider XX medication.”
Oh hey television, just because I’m home on a rare Saturday evening, that means that I am single, lonely, and suffering from depression? Fine, judge me all you want. But why did you have to bring the sad sea otter into all of this?
WanderLost Blog 