Category Archives: single woes and married foes

Navigating the Office Holiday Party.

I for one love a holiday office party. As long as open bar is involved. My new company (I only started this job in July) is holding theirs on Friday and I have high hopes that the night will look something like this…

Carlton!

And not this…When I get home from my work holiday party after talking to married couples all night. (myfriendsaremarried)

(but I’m sure knowing my luck, it will be the latter)

P.S. If you thought this article was about HOW to navigate your office holiday party, I have no idea.  My first full-time job out of college was working for a small start-up smack dab in the middle of the recession so I didn’t experience my first holiday party until age 27. So I haven’t been hit with the jaded boredom of these events that I think most people have acquired. I’ll leave the advice to the good people of Yahoo and GQ to help you out.

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In Preparation for Thanksgiving.

I don’t know about you guys, but for the last few days, I’ve been plotting my responses for the inevitable question, “So, are you seeing anyone special?” when I return to my hometown of Chicago this week. Here are my favorites:

  • “No. What are your thoughts on the 22 year old who works at the Subway by my office that told me he still lives with his parents? Because he asked me out.”
  • “No special man, Aunt Maggie. I’ve decided that I will be the family member to continue your spinster legacy.” (Totally kidding! I don’t have an Aunt Maggie. And I would never say that to a spinster Aunt)
  • “No, but consider this an open invitation to come visit me in LA in the dead of Chicago winter so you can meet the men of Los Angeles. You will quickly understand why I am still single.”
  • “Yes, I have met someone! His name is Winston. He is unbelievably sweet, considerate, always there for me, and he is an orange tabby.” (Lie. I don’t have a cat…yet. But if I ever get one he will be named Winston and he will surely be the love of my life)
  • “Nope. Once I saw those Paul Ryan workout pictures, I gave up on the male species and took a vow of celibacy.” (Half kidding…My parents’ conservative friends would sh– a brick if I actually said this to them)
  • “No, but I still have hope because men like Ryan Gosling look like this.” (100% truth!)

The best advice I can give for dealing this lovely question during the holiday season? Always have a glass of champagne in hand. Because a glass of bubbly looks better than a stud on your arm any day of the week.

P.S. Here’s a picture of Mr. Gosling if you needed a visual.

Best Tumblr on the Internet.

As a big fan of hilarious GIFs and Tumblrs, I’m always on the hunt for a new Tumblr to entertain me when I’m bored. My friend D. discovered the greatest gem on the Internet, #myfriendsaremarried. The title says it all. The subtitle “My friends are getting married; I’m just 25 and drunk” perfects the theme. Replace 25 with 28 and we’ve stumbled upon my life! Gems include:

WHEN MY FRIEND SAYS THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA.

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Image: MyFriendsAreMarried

WHEN MY FRIEND SAYS I DON’T HAVE TO BE INTERESTED IN A GUY TO GO ON ONE DATE WITH HIM.

Image: MyFriendsAreMarried

Explore. Enjoy. It made my day when I discovered it.