Tag Archives: Los Angeles

Lesson #9: Don’t Be Afraid to Laugh at Yourself.

Christmas Lesson #9: Don’t Be Afraid to Laugh at Yourself

There were a few moments this year when my friends would bring up my embarrassing dating stories and I’d turn bright red and get angry. Sometimes hearing the sentence, “Remember when you dated the vegetarian who insisted on going to restaurants to share plates and didn’t let you eat meat dishes?” or “Why did you stay on that drinks date where Sober Joe invited you for a drink and then he drank iced tea while you had your 2nd Chardonnay?”  just completely rubbed me the wrong way. Then, I realized they bring up those stories because they are just so memorable and entertaining that the stories stuck with them. And that I should really lighten up.

Recently, on a chilly Friday morning, I found myself on a corner in Brentwood next to Mr. High Maintenance. I only noticed him because I thought it was strange that guy was wearing sandals, shorts, and a tank top when it was 50 degrees outside. Then we each did a double-take and I realized it was the Pellegrino and Sauvignon Blanc-swigging prima donna himself (in fact, he was holding 2 bottles of Pellegrino). He looked at me and ran across the busy street, straight into incoming traffic.

He didn’t get hit by a car and I fought the urge to shout, “Hey —, good to see you! Maybe you should put on some pants. It’s cold out here.” Then I promptly burst into laughter. The men of LA that I have dated literally run into incoming cars to get away from me. And that’s hilarious.

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Lesson #6: It is a Small, Small World.

Lesson #6 of the 12 Lessons of Christmas: It is a Small, Small World.

Recently, I found myself at a birthday brunch sitting next to the girlfriend of a short guy I had dated over 2 years ago. It turns that they had started dating shortly after he and I stopped seeing each other, which goes to show that we all have our Good Luck Chuck encounters.

As I chatted with her and sipped mimosas, I realized she was quite a delight and that I could see how they were well-suited for each other. She was also far more petite than I am and much more of a match for short guy — height-wise. I kept it to myself that I had once schtooped her boyfriend, although I think she connected the dots on her own.

I’ve said it once, I’ve indeed said it twice, and my goodness – LA is a small, small place.

5 Reasons Why I’m a Bad Date.

We know I spend a lot of time here complaining about the men of Los Angeles. But I’m willing to admit the common thread among the ones I’ve dated was obviously me. Which begs the question – what exactly am I doing wrong in the dating game?

1) Things in my life have been difficult lately, especially work-wise. Sometimes, it’s hard to keep these complaints to myself. Maybe it’s time to acknowledge most people are very stressed about their jobs and to keep my frustrated thoughts to myself until date three or fifteen. You know who someone doesn’t want to date? Debbie Downer.

2) When I actually really, truly like a guy, I get awkward. Like spaz city awkward in front of him. Revert back to 5th grade (mouth chock full of braces, chubby red cheeks, and monster eyeglasses) awkward. I can see why this has frightened some Prince Charmings away.

3) I’ll admit it – I have some commitment issues. Signing a year-long lease on an apartment gives me hives. I don’t like to plan vacations more than 2 months in advance (and even that seems a little close…who knows what could change in my life? But guess what — life will be exactly the same in 2 months!!).

4) I have a short attention span. The minute the conversation turns to minute sports details I don’t know, I start to wonder “If I get home in 45 minutes, I can catch The Walking Dead on my DVR before it’s past my nerd alert bedtime…”

And finally…

5) I keep an online dating blog and karma is simply biting me in the ass.

Guest Post: think before you delete…

Today’s guest post is brought to you by the lovely Cara of my jean shorts. Cara takes a deep dive into the murky world of dating and breaking up in the new world of Facebook with her post think before you delete…

Now there’s one thing we should all be jealous that our parents didn’t have. They didn’t have to date in an age where Facebook posted all of your ex’s dirty laundry!

I was recently deleted on Facebook by someone I had briefly dated this year. This would be the second time this year a guy was so tormented by my amazing posts that he just couldn’t take it anymore and had to delete me. I know it can be tough to see me with a fake mustache or enjoying a quiet morning run near the water, so I completely understand where they are coming from. It did get me thinking though “why do people need to be so dramatic on social media?”

First, here are some fun facts about Facebook to catch you up to speed…

– Facebook was founded in 2004, coming up on the big 1-0!!!

– As of last September Facebook had over a billion active users, that’s a lot of ex’s.
– Daily, they have to remove 20,000 profiles
– Facebook is second most searched site behind Google – In 2006 ‘Newsfeed’ was introduced, making it easier for ex’s to get depressed.
– In 2008 ‘Chat’ was introduced, which now entertains many employed people around the world.
– In 2011 ‘Following’ was rolled out. Now all the narcissistic people can not only have a friends list but also a followers list!!
– Currently Facebook is blocked in 6 countries; the Peoples Republic of China being one of them, SHOCKER! They have no idea what they are missing in China: Jersey Shore and now Facebook!

Back to dating and Facebook…

To be precise I have been on Facebook since October 2006. In those 7 years, I have acquired 480 friends/acquaintances (two VERY different things). I would like to say that I know most of these people, but those are slim chances. However, I am sure I have interacted with them at some point in my life… I think. In those 7 years, I have only deleted one ex and well — that’s because we dated 7 years. It truly was painful to watch. Oops, that was a total lie, I deleted the guy I dated after him too! I strictly blame that on the fact I was still grieving the long term relationship.

The need for drama on social media has me beside myself. I prefer to keep my drama to silent stalking without the other person knowing anything of the sort. Who doesn’t love to see an ex with a new girlfriend who has nothing on you, except a few extra lbs. And why go as far as deleting when you can ‘hide’ them? Which by the way, the ‘hiding’ application on Facebook is by far the best Facebook has ever offered. Not only can I hide the ex’s profile til I am ready to see how their life went spiraling downhill after me, but I can hide the girl who won’t stop taking selfies of herself and posting them for all her ‘haters’ to be jealous of.

If we are on social media for any reason it is for pure enjoyment and sometimes to keep in touch. So think before you delete because you could be missing out on some future fun!

{posted by cara}

ps… no one was harmed nor deleted in the creation of this post.

You can catch up with Cara and all of her online and real-life adventures at http://myjeanshorts.com/