All posts by Wander Lost Blog

Wander Lost Blog is about the journey of A., a hapless 30something who has lived in Chicago, San Diego, LA, and currently resides in NYC.
dating, on Los Angeles

The Geographically Undesirables.

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There’s a term that’s very specific to the dating world of Los Angeles: Geographically Undesirable. When I receive a eHarmony mail from a cute guy in Santa Monica, I go, “eee, cute and close!” When I get a note from a cute guy in Agoura Hills, I think, “eeh, cute, but I can’t get over there on a weeknight without sitting in 2 hours of traffic. Wait – where exactly is Agoura Hills?”

It makes a world of difference if the guy lives within a 5 mile radius of you compared to if you have to cross the 405 and can’t even get on a freeway (I’m looking at you, West Hollywood). If you’re working a 10 hour+ day (cough cough aka my life), you really don’t have time to commute for a date. You barely have time to exercise and grab a quick glass of wine out at a bar before bed.

I once had a Wednesday night date in Los Feliz that I sat in 1 hour and 20 mins of traffic to get to and was subsequently 30 minutes late for the date. He was miffed I was late and I was fuming out of hunger, frustration, and concluded no man was ever worth venturing to Los Feliz for on a weekday night. Clearly, the two of us didn’t work out.

I mean, even NASA knows better than to go to the Valley.

Image: #WhenInLA

And this illustration pretty much sums up all my feelings. Courtesy of my dad (he knows me all too well).

That being said, I know the first-hand stories of the long distance relationships where people even got on airplanes to meet up with the men they loved and it all worked out. So maybe I should try venturing east of the 405.

Ladies – sound off! Is this just a LA problem? How far are you willing to venture for a date? What’s an acceptable radius?

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The Bachelorette: My 2 Cents

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Last night, Chris Harrison and company delivered the most “shocking Bachelorette finale ever!” (although I am pretty sure they say that at the end of every Bachelorette/Bachelor season). In the previous episode, Desiree had been dumped by that Utah man with the flowy graying hair and was left with Drew and Chris (who I didn’t even notice until the Hometown Dates where I realized he was that tall, cute, mediocre poet but couldn’t ever recount his name). There was a lot of awkward crying going on – in fact, 18 minutes and 27 seconds of crying to be exact. I timed it on my iPhone as my own personal drinking game.

{ Image: NY Daily News }

I was all Team “Des is going to wind up alone because almost all these guys sucked from the get-go”, but it turns out I was wrong and she chose her second cheese, Chris the Mediocre Poet.

 To ABC’s credit, they edited the sh-t out of this and framed the romance as “he was the guy in the background all along who was waiting for her to realize her feelings” (or as one blogger brilliantly put it – this episode should have been subtitled  This is Totally How ‘Pretty in Pink’ Should Have Ended, You Guys) instead of just calling it what it is: he was the rebound guy!

Then came the long hour that is After the Rose and we had to watch Brooks (whose hair was notably not so gray anymore…) awkwardly congratulate Des on her engagement. Then we had to watch Drew just be awkward. Then we got to see the happy couple and I couldn’t help but notice how much Chris seemed to be into her and how little she seemed to be into him. But I’ve read a lot of advice articles that say “In the beginning, the man should be more into the woman” (something about how he needs to be the chaser, yada yada yada), so maybe this is the start of a great romance for Des and Chris.

So that’s my 2 cents on the only reality TV I watch. I have one long month until I can get back to my real TV viewing passion –The Walking Dead, Season 4. Forget reality show romances with short expiration dates; I’m a sucker for slow-moving zombies!

dating

On Why I Still Have Hope.

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There have been men in my life that I will never discuss in complete detail on this blog. Believe it or not, they affected my life in such positive ways that I am actually inspired to continue to date. How and why these men and I parted ways is not up for public display.

I learned a great deal from these men and about myself from these relationships and well, some weren’t even full-blown relationships. I’ll say the following.

  • I’ve been in love. More than once. Even I can’t believe it but once upon a few times, it happened. As closed off and cynical as I’ve become, I have faith that since I found love once (even more than once) before, it’s possible to find it again.
  • A long time ago, I was dating someone when my old POS car acted up. He handed me the keys to his car because he was concerned enough that he didn’t want me to drive something unsafe and he would drive my car to the mechanic that day instead. As a fearless and independent woman who had learned the expensive ways of taxis when cars failed (or to just drive the potentially dangerous vehicle to the dealership), I was absolutely floored. I didn’t even know that people – much less men – could be that selfless and caring. Regardless ladies: this is why we have AAA and keep guy friends on hand to call for car advice. That was a very rare moment that I am sure will never happen to me again. Plus I finally bought a reliable car that really gets me safely (and in some style) from point A to point B.
  • One morning, I turned over in bed and my male visitor told me I looked beautiful in that early morning light. No one had complimented me sincerely like that in years. Years.
  • The first dates where I actually had butterflies in my stomach. They’ve been far and few in between. But when they happen – they are simply the best.
  • Sleeping with a friend is tricky. Tricky tricky tricky. I’ve navigated it successfully and unsuccessfully. It’s hard to even give honest advice on what worked and what didn’t. Bottom line – enjoy it in the moment, but know that 99% of the time, it’s not going to lead to anything more.

I’ve been on countless dates with the douchebags of LA, such as the Politican, the Mr. I-Have-It-All, the Tall Guy, and while they may temporarily break my spirit from time to time, the memory of the good ones is what ultimately keeps me going in this crazy world of dating.