All posts by Wander Lost Blog

Wander Lost Blog is about the journey of A., a hapless 30something who has lived in Chicago, San Diego, LA, and currently resides in NYC.
douchebags, random

Jimmy Kimmel Proves What a Bunch of A-Holes Los Angelenos Are.

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In case you haven’t heard (and I really hope you haven’t, because this is not a newsmaking event), it’s been cold in LA for like a week. By cold, I mean below 70.

Ok, so it has been like 45 degrees at night but I’m getting really tired of the Los Angelenos who are wearing a thin USC or UCLA (double idiot points for the UCLA) sweatshirt at night and complaining about how freezing it is while they stand there shivering. I’m from Chicago and when it is 45 degrees outside*, you put on a decent jacket, jackass.

So when this Jimmy Kimmel clip popped up in my Facebook newsfeed, it had me rolling on the fl0or. My favorite is the douchebag standing in Long Beach with a ski coat and ski gloves acting like he’s covering Battery Park during Hurricane Sandy.

Happy Monday!

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* The one exception to this rule in Chicago is when it has been 10 degrees for a month straight and one magical, sunny, 45 degree day happens in February. Then you may run around the city in a tank top and shorts because your skin has adapted to have bear-like strength to hold heat.

online dating

Signing Off eHarmony

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The time came to renew or cancel my 3 month eHarmony membership and while it has provided some great fodder for this blog, it just didn’t seem worth the ROI to continue.   When you cancel, they ask if you met someone (no…) and why you are leaving the site so I really put some thought into my feedback.

To provide a little background, I spent 2.5 years doing community management for an online media site and it was The. Worst. Thing. Ever. Imagine getting hate mail every day from strangers on the Internet including on Christmas day for almost 3 years. I’m still emotionally scarred (and clearly a little bit bitter). So I figured if eHarmony really wanted my feedback, I’d give the poor community manager who has to read these responses something to laugh about. Below you’ll find my response:

I thought about continuing your service but it’s kind of expensive, and I decided I wanted to buy a new pair of shoes instead.

Truthfully, the shoes are going to be more fulfilling than most of the dates I went on over the past few months. I don’t think this is your fault though, eHarmony. It’s not you; it’s LA.

Sincerely,

A.

P.S. If I ever rejoin, can you please not send me matches from La Canada Flintridge? I didn’t even know what that was and had to look it up on Google Maps; that place is too far away to travel for any dude, even if he’s like a 98% compatibility match or whatever.

Guess I’ll have to go back to my old ways of trolling Brentwood bars for douchebags to date. Good luck to me!

random

Cheers to 2013!

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I have to admit, I was a fan of 2012. New job, new apartment, new (cough cough) blog, new car. Seeing as those some of the previous years were not auspicious (I’m looking at you 2008 and 2010…and the end of 2011), I can only hope 2013 goes half as smoothly as 2012 did and I’ll be a happy camper.

As for resolutions, I don’t really believe in them because I get really, really angry over how crowded my pilates and spin classes and gym get starting on January 2 with all those people and their “fitness resolutions”. Then those fools clear out by mid-February and I’m happy once again.

So here’s hoping for lots of good drinks, friends, not crowded fitness classes, and of course dates in 2013!

Cheers and Love,

A.

dating, single woes and married foes

In Preparation for Christmas.

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Unless any of you have acquired a boyfriend over the last 5 weeks (kudos if so!), I felt it appropriate to post a follow-up to In Preparation for Thanksgiving. I am returning to Chicago with a massive cold (not to worry though – the doctor just gave me a bunch of drugs so I should be singing Christmas carols minus the dripping nose in no time) and am fully prepped to answer the following annoying question:

“So, why are you still single?”

I have compiled the following potential responses:

  • “I don’t know; maybe I should stop telling guys on a first date that I have a dating blog.” (just kidding…this is like a 6th date revelation)
  • “I keep meeting these cute guys in Orange County but once I tell them that I voted for Obama, they run away.”
  • “I’m on an airplane and/or in a different city every other weekend. Apparently, most men find this detrimental in dating a person. Me? I think it’s pretty f–king rad.”
  • “I have no idea. Go get me my 5th glass of champagne and let’s sit down for the next 3 hours of this holiday party to talk through all my many single person issues. And no, we’re not spending one minute talking about you.”
  • “I really am holding out for Ryan Gosling. He lives in LA; I live in LA. What – is this not realistic?”
  • “BECAUSE BEING SINGLE IS AWESOME.” (True story. Thanks to my friend D. for that one)

Happy Holidays everybody! To the married folks – I enjoyed all the holiday cards (who doesn’t love snail mail??) and I hope there aren’t too many in-laws and screaming children this Christmas. To the single folks – I hope there are many ugly Christmas sweater parties and drunken makeouts heading your way.

random

My Very First Big Girl Purchase.

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Good news — I survived the holiday office party with no hangover, no having to talk to boring married couples (guess what – most were fun and doing shots at the bar!), and doing lots of this:

But perhaps the most exciting news of the weekend was that I bought my first car all on my own. As a single woman, this was more terrifying and overwhelming than navigating OkCupid.

The time had come to retire my 15-year-old Honda Accord as it leaked on me when it rained (and in one instance, leaked on one of my dates when he sat in the passenger seat) and the driver side window decided it didn’t want to open anymore. So I did months and months of online research and finally test drove a certified, pre-owned Sonata and fell in love.

But if there’s one thing I loathe in life, it is negotiating. Thank goodness I work in advertising and not litigation. I actually walked out of the dealership on Saturday because they were pressuring me far too much and gave me a crap offer on my (granted POS) Honda. I spent a night doing further research on Kelley Blue Book and talking with a friend who used to work at a dealership and who had all sorts of tips. The next day, I walked back into the Hyundai dealership much more confident and negotiated the price of my trade-in up and the price of the new car down. And now, I have a car with Bluetooth AND it doesn’t rain on me when it rains outside.

I learned a whole lot over those two days:

  1. Confidence is key. In life, on a date, in a car negotiation. 
  2. Don’t be afraid to walk away from something if you feel overwhelmed or pressured. A night to sleep on it is sometimes all you need.
  3. Research, research, research. I spent months reading car reviews and talking to friends who owned cars I was interested in before I even test drove.
  4. Visit Carmax for a quote on your trade-in. I didn’t wind up using them but their quote gave me extra ammunition in negotiating the price of my trade-in.
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask a friend for advice.

By the way, some Los Angeleno jerk driver scratched the rear bumper on my 4th day of ownership and didn’t leave a note. Typical.