Logged into Facebook only to have Facebook tell me that my college boyfriend got engaged.
My unemployed ass is getting out of this country. Thailand, see you soon.
Time to Get Outta Dodge.
All posts by Wander Lost Blog
Breaking Up is Hard To Do.
It is astounding how much losing your job is like ending a relationship. On the day it happens, you saw it coming but yet you didn’t see it coming at the same time.
Then you have to deal with the aftermath. The employer/boyfriend has to return your personal items. You find yourself Googling your past employer/boyfriend daily and realize you need to immediately unfollow the employer/boyfriend on Twitter, Facebook, Google alerts, LinkedIn, etc…But as one clever girlfriend noted, “Instead of getting a STD from a bad boyfriend, you got a kickass severance package.” Wouldn’t it be nice if every relationship came with a severance? That you got what was ultimately owed to you? I suppose that’s what a divorce is after all.
You go through the 5 stages of grief, otherwise known as the The Kübler-Ross Model (fun fact: I was a psychology major).
- Denial.
- Anger.
- Bargaining.
- Depression.
- Acceptance.
I’d like to add my own 6th stage. You know you’re fully healed when you hit stage 6: Boredom. Which is where I currently am.
It Got Worse.
Well 2014, you did not live up to what you were supposed to be. Unfortunately, I lost my job in a round of layoffs last week. Yes, apparently layoffs still happen in this economy. We’re still in a recession, people.
It doesn’t take a genius to know that I wasn’t very happy at what I was doing (Excel — I’m talking about you), but it’s always a true shock when your livelihood is ripped out from under you. And when you’re a Type A personality, you don’t really know what to do with all of your newfound free time (and limited budget).
In an attempt to not fall down the angry, dark hole that I so badly want to crawl into, I’ve been training myself to look at the silver linings. In no particular order —
- I didn’t have to go to work Monday morning, so I got to really enjoy myself at a Super Bowl party. Which was helpful because it was such a boring game to watch without the aid of mimosas.
- I had been on 3 dates with a man that I had determined I did not like by Date #3. Turns out, telling a guy that you won’t date him anymore because you are unemployed and may move cities is the perfect, “I’m not an asshole, I just have bad circumstances” way to get out of dating him.
- I can pursue any and all work crushes who were previously off-limits.
- I still get to go on vacation and now I don’t have to return to 2,000+ work emails. Thailand, see you in 6 days.
- The sky is the limit.
2014.
I don’t like the word resolution because I feel that it sets you up for failure. But I like the word goal, so I set 3 goals for myself this year:
1. Have a better year than 2013. The bar has been set low.
2. Spend less time in Excel.
3. Go on less dates with boring men.
So far, I’m failing at one of these goals (Excel, you ‘re a dirty, mean jerk) and going nowhere with Goal #3. The problem with Goal #3 is that it just means that I am going on less dates, period.
That means, fair readers, for those of you going out on dates with interesting men or just anyone in general – I’d love to have you guest blog. Ping me at lamatchbook@gmail.com. I’ll answer quickly because I’m usually home alone with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc or watching Juan Pablo. Or let’s be realistic – both at the same time.
2013: A Recap
I made out with a guy in San Francisco who I am 99% sure was gay and trying to prove a point to his lover, Igor. No, I don’t make this stuff up.
I made it to 5 dates with a vegetarian who made me share non-carnivorous meals with him and he lived at home above his parents’ garage without a bedroom door. Again, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. He now owns the title of the only man I have made it to 5 dates with in 13 months.
My mother grew so anxious over the state of my singlehood that she literally chased down men in the street of Chicago for me.
A drunk best man rejected me at a wedding.
I considered hiring a Los Angeles actor to bring home to my family for Christmas. I decided that taking a vacation to Thailand was a better investment.
I went on a date with a skinny man who invited me to drinks and then he drank iced tea. I felt awkward and judged for enjoying my glass of Chardonnay.
At the end of 2013, I still have my health, an income, wine, and a pretty awesome group of friends. At the end of the day, that makes for a pretty decent year. And the bar has been set very, very low for you, 2014.
Bring it on.
Cheers,
A.
WanderLost Blog 